Tags: Sextoys, green living, eco-friendly, rabbit, recycle, reuse

In many families, little girls have been taught - by word or actions - that sex is shameful - something to be kept a secret. Or merely the procreative duty of women everywhere. Such a negative view of sex can hamper a woman’s sexuality her entire adult life.

Such women are often  ashamed to admit that they enjoy sex, if they allow themselves to do so at all. And asking for what they want is simply out of the question.

A negative image of her sexuality will not only prevent a woman from truly experiencing the pleasures of sex, but it will kill the thrill for her man, too.

What Dr. Ruth Westheimer says about your most important sexual organ being your brain is quite true. When a “good girl” struggles with the negative lessons she has been taught about sexuality in the past, her body follows suit. An unsatisfying sex life is sure to follow.

So, if you’re a quintessential ”good girl” how can you get past the negative messages you’ve been taught about sex and learn to let go of your inhibitions? Retrain your brain.

Check out 10 Things Good Girls Can Learn from Porn Stars over at iVillage (No, it’s not what you’re thinking!) and below are two books written by sex therapists that can help you battle good girl syndrome in bed:

Chauna Myles writes multicultural women’s fiction that embraces diversity and features plenty of sizzling-hot rendezvous. Her non-fiction writings embrace inclusion and a celebration of the unique beauty that every woman possesses. She is the Non-Fiction Editor here at Pink Nighties

But this was all so cold-blooded! They didn’t truly measure if guys were mixing up the signals. I’d rather see researchers following a subject around town, asking every woman he came into contact with, “What did you think about him?” and comparing those answers to the guy’s responses to, “Which of those chicks wanted you?” Maybe this violates some sort of Milgram Experiment Unwitting-Participant law, but I still feel this would provide a more accurate and compelling set of results.

I would even be willing to participate in the study myself. I actually think I would make an excellent subject, as I have observed in the past week alone sexy vibes from the grocery store cashier, four coworkers and a Senior Director, my dentist’s receptionist, two high school classmates, a cat owner at the vet, and I’m pretty sure even the telemarketer from the credit card company. Those chicks all want me.

Robert Lewis is pleased to offer a masculine perspective to Pink Nighties’ readers. He likes red Italian wine with dinner, coffee and the newspaper on Sunday mornings and hot, sweaty lovemaking just about anytime. Luckily for him, his wife likes those things, too.

I wanted an e-zine to feature erotic stuff. Nothing pornographic, but well written pieces that make the reader think. Romantic tales of candles and champagne. Pulp pieces with high heels, fur coats and cigarettes. Maybe edgier pieces…with blindfolds and handcuffs. What you will find here is more than I ever expected.

Take a few moments to read about the fabulous Editorial Staff. I cannot express how wonderful these folks are.

Here in the “Our Opinions” section, you will find reviews on products, books, and places. You’ll also find a update announcements as well as a little bit of blog fodder here and there. We’d love to hear your thoughts, as our editors and contributors tell you what they like and what they are thinking about. Comments are open in this section. Be sure and sign up for our newsletter as well.

In the Fiction section, you will find enticing short stories as well as tantalizing poetry. Currently two authors have begun serials….sexy stand alone stories that leave us wanting to know what happens next - and you’ll find out come Summer. Non-Fiction will feature pieces on body image, sexual factoids, and interviews on sex-positive individuals.

You may be asking: what can you expect in the future from Pink Nighties?

**In 2008, there will be four issues, coinciding with each the beginning of each season.
**We will have a small mid-issue update around a month after launch
**We will continue to welcome diverse pieces, including poetry, short stories, flash fiction, serials, informational articles, opinion pieces, interviews of positive sex industry individuals, and reviews.

We look forward to your submissions. Be sure and let us know what you think.

Deb Smouse loves to travel and has a great appreciation for beautiful lingerie, good food and excellent company. She is the Founder and Editor in Chief of Pink Nighties.

As half of a very busy dual income couple, and as someone with a husband who is preparing for trips to both Hong Kong and Tokyo that I’m not able to tag along on, having a so-called “battery operated boyfriend” at my disposal is crucial to both our sanity. Men may be able to cheerfully wank in the shower every morning, but I’m a lounging-against-a-pile-of-pillows, or reclining-in-a-tub-of-bubbles type of girl.. As such, my own preparation for my husband’s upcoming Asian adventure includes the recent purchase of two new toys, one that requires an electrical outlet, and the other that is decidedly unplugged.

The plug-in model I chose is the current incarnation of another classic name in “personal massagers,” the Hitachi Magic Wand, but I bought the Good Vibes (the nickname is an official one) package called the “Super Silicone G-Spotter Kit” ($99) which includes the wand itself, as well as a soft silicone g-spot dildo that is designed to fit over the tennis ball-esque massage head of the vibrator itself, and a bottle of “Please” lubricant, which I like because it’s non-greasy, and scent free. Nothing is worse than having a toy permanently reeking of fake florals because you used a scented lubricant. While I like the intensity of the vibrations that the wand offers (without the g-spot attachments it does wonders for the crick in my neck I get from too much computing), the motor is much too loud for discreet use. My husband has no issues with me using toys, or with using them with me, but if your relationship doesn’t have that comfort level, this is not something you want to use without adequate sound proofing.

The g-spot attachment is quite comfortable, and the soft silicone transmits the vibrations quite well, but it’s important to recognize that it’s green. Very green. So green, in fact, that I’ve nicknamed mine “the super schlong of Slytherin.” (We won’t discuss my fetish for certain fictional potions professors.) I definitely recommend putting a condom over it before you use it, both because it’s easier to clean, after, and because static is an issue and within five seconds of being out of the box, mine had already attracted stray pet hair and lint.

While the Hitachi is great for use on dry land, the need to be plugged in gets a bit tiresome if you’re a bathtub mermaid like me, so I also purchased the waterproof “Power Dancer” ($32, uses two AA batteries, not included). It’s a happy purple piece of plastic that twists one direction to open the battery compartment, and the other direction to turn on the gentle but constant, vibration.

At roughly the same size of a purse-sized Mini MagLight, this is something you could easily tuck into a purse for instant cramp-relief in the women’s room (oh, come on, we ALL do that), but it’s best use, at least for a bathtub mermaid like me, is under water. It’s not as intense as the Hitachi, of course, and while it’s small enough for penetration really isn’t meant for it, but for a bit of bath-time buzz it does the job quite nicely, and the battery life is pretty decent. I’ve had mine since January, use it pretty regularly, and am still on the first set of batteries.

Either of these toys, and many others, are available from Good Vibrations, where the staff will answer questions if you have them, and where the items really do arrived in plain brown wrappers.

Freelance writer, blogger, improv comedian, and caffeine addict, Melissa A.Bartell writes in her pajamas most of the time. Her previous incarnations include amateur cellist, mortgage underwriter, and cafe barista. She shares her home with her husband and two dogs, and likes froufrou pink drinks, dark chocolate, and microbrew beer. Her website is www.melissabartell.com

Seriously, I’ve had some really great and amazing sex…but this was by far the best in my entire life - ever.

So, tell me. Is it his skills as a lover, the emotional connection, or is it a combination?

I can tell you that if I was still the wide-eyed twenty-something woman I once was, I would have insisted it was emotion. But now that I am a more experienced in the sexual realm, and in this ripe time period of my early forties, I don’t know. I would never say that I didn’t love this man (let’s call him the Traveling Man), but when it gets down to the nuts and bolts of this relationship, I have doubts. We have been on and off for more than three years now. Yes, you read that right: three years. In the afterglow of what was the most amazing sex ever….as we lay there trying to catch our breath…I came out and asked him: “why is sex with you always so good?” What I didn’t say out loud, though, was if the sex weren’t so good, it would be easier to make a decision about you….and simply walk away….

Age is both a good and a bad thing. Age has given me more experience and the ability to judge when sex is mediocre, good or flat out amazing. However, part of age (and early onset menopause) has made my body rarely as responsive. The Traveling Man isn’t my only lover, but I can honestly say that none of my other lovers are able to bring me to orgasm during intercourse each and every time.  Now, oral sex is a different story, but we are talking old fashioned cock-in-vagina.  The Traveling Man, however, is always able to get me to come. In fact, on this occasion, I came three times while I was being fucked….plus several delicious little orgasms with his amazing hands. (We will talk about the whole squirting thing another time, okay?)

This encounter was weeks ago….and just thinking about it makes my heart race…my body throb and ache..my nipples erect. I can still feel every moment of it….his hands on my body…his mouth on me…..our sweaty bodies…my begging him to make me come…his words…his ragged breathing…

I am left with the doubt and these questions playing about in my mind: Is it enough to tie us together? Is it the sex or the connection that brings us together after we seem to drift apart? Am I still crazy about him because the sex is so amazing? Or is the sex so amazing because I’m crazy about him?

Tell me, please….what do you think?

Paula Tracey is a tarnished Southern Belle that has discovered that she likes behaving like a man. Multiple lovers mean that the various needs in her life will be met. Her upbringing, however, ties her to certain traditions and you will never find her wearing white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.

It started simply, with the purchase of a couple of nice pieces of lingerie shortly after my divorce… but as my dispensable income grew a little, I invested in some lovely pieces. When it came to putting together sexy underthings for a special dessert-after-dinner, an outfit wasn’t complete without stockings.

Now, I come from a generation of women who abhor pantyhose, but I was brought up by a mother who bought me a girdle when I was a size four. I wear pantyhose when I am dressing for work, and when I am dressing for play, stockings logically follow right along with my way of thinking.

In a day and age where women prefer to be barelegged, what can be more enticing to a man than well defined muscles under nylon? Imagine yourself at dinner…and as a skirt rides up slightly, your dinner partner sees the top of stocking with an edge of bare flesh…..leading right to the promised land…..

Thigh-high stockings are easy to find these days, to be honest. I’ve purchased nice ones at Nordstrom’s, Macy’s and even Target. But my all-time favorite stockings are the vintage styled Signature RHT (Reinforced Heel and Toe) stockings created by Secrets in Lace.

Secrets in Lace has been in business since 1984, but I discovered them by following a link to their Dita Von Teese collection. Their stockings are authentically styled and often run off of patterns from the 1950’s. Nylon stockings with a denier of 15, their Signature RHT stockings come in a variety of colors (black, beige coffee) with stylish - and sexy - welts in complimentary colors. They also come in 5 sizes, ranging from Petite to Opera length. I personally have long legs, so the Opera length is great for me….

I’ve searched, but have been unable to find anything near their quality or style. Unlike many companies, Secrets in Lace also carries a “Curvy Woman” collection of stockings.

The staff at Secrets and Lace have always been great to deal with, as well. So, if you are looking for something sexy to wear - or a great gift for that sexy woman in your life, consider stockings. Now know that with stockings, you will need a delicious garter belt to hold them up….Secrets in Lace can help you out there as well (yes, for all sizes of ladies!)

When you want to look sexy - or feel sexy - I think stockings add just that right touch…..

Deb Smouse loves to travel and has a great appreciation for beautiful lingerie, good food and excellent company. She is the Founder and Editor in Chief of Pink Nighties.